What are you, a Nerd or Free Spirit?
By Keith Bunn Jr.
June 30, 2013
Nerd and Free Spirit
In most families, when it comes to finances, the husband and wife can be categorized as either a Nerd or a Free Spirit. The Nerd is someone who likes doing the budget because they feel like they are taking care of their family. It also satisfies their need to be somewhat controlling. The Free Spirit doesn't feel cared for, they feel controlled. They also seem to be irresponsible to the Nerds.
This relational dynamic can be really stressful in you relationships, but it is something that is needed also, meaning, the Nerds need a Free Spirit in their lives so the have a life. The Free Spirits need a Nerd in their life so they are not broke and eating Alpo in their so called Golden years. It is these differences that can either break a marriage or make it awesome!
How Do You Overcome These Differences
Financially, the best way I know of to overcome these differences is to do a budget together. WHAT!? That's right, do a budget! By doing a budget together, you are opening the lines of communication between the two of you. You are also sharing your dreams, passions, and ideas of what your family's future may look like. If you've never done a budget before, this will probably not be an easy trip, but I guarantee it is well worth it. Because once you get that area of your life situated, once the doors of communication about money are opened, other doors will open too.
But Who Does the Budget?
The answer to that question is, Both of you do it. I suggest that the person who likes to write out the budget to do that part, but Both of you need to sit down and go over it together. Only then does it become "OUR" budget. You Both have a say on where the money goes.
Once the Nerd is done writing out the budget, slide it over to the Free Spirit so they can read it. Once that is done, you Nerds need to be quiet. Your opinions are on the paper, give the Free Spirits a chance to read it. After the Free Spirit is done reading, this is the point where the Both of you start talking about and possibly make changes to the budget. Oh, I forgot to mention. There is a phrase the Free Spirits can never say to the Nerds, and that is... "Whatever you want to do.", "Whatever you say." That is copping out on your responsibility to claim ownership to the budget.
Who's the Nerd? Who's the Free Spirit?
OK, here is a fun quiz to find out who's the Nerd and who's the Free Spirit in your relationship. Place a check mark on which best describes you.
1) You actually like balancing the check book. ___ or ___ You'd rather balance a spoon on your nose than balance the check book.
2) Rules are important and should be followed. ___ or ___ Rules are more like suggestions to be considered.
3) You are always on time. ALWAYS. ___ or ___ You show up "on time." Give or take 15 minutes.
4) You spend more time planning the vacation than the vacation itself. ___ or ___ Vacation are more fun when the calendar's blank and you just "go."
5) Recipes should be precisely followed. Like rules. ___ or ___ Recipes are suggestions. Just do a dash here and a dash there.
6) You read the introductions of books. They're in there for a reason! ___ or ___ You skip introductions. Then it's like you read more.
7) You organize your shirts by color, or you will when you get home. ___ or ___ You're doing good just to get your shirts hung up.
8) You can't wait for Dave Ramsey to teach about budgeting. ___ or ___ You're considering faking an illness the night of the budget lesson.
9) "Living for the moment" sounds irresponsible to you. ___ or ___ "Living for the moment" sounds like the soundtrack to your life.
10) Clutter is annoying and frustrates you. ___ or ___ It's not clutter, it's character!
This quiz is from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace lesson: Relating with Money.
The reason I do this is to give people hope and to try to inspire others. To make them think about their finances, whether they are young or old, so they can win financially.
If you have any questions for me about my posts or about your finances, you can call me at (616) 454-2046 or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also find more money news, facts and ideas, on my Facebook and/or Twitter pages. I'd be grateful if you followed me. Thank you!
Special Note: This will be the last blog posted on Sundays. Starting on July 8th, my blogs will be posted on Mondays. This move is mainly because people are always out and about on the weekends, especially during the summer months and I feel that this move will allow my message to be heard better. Oh, by the way! Checkout my Facebook page (link above) Monday, July 1st. I'll be posting the answers to the Nerd and Free Spirit quiz so you can see how big of a Nerd and Free Spirit you really are, lol.