Don't let Divorce lead you to a path
of Financial Ruin
By Keith Bunn Jr.
October 29, 2013
I've said it many times, the number one cause of divorce in this country is because of money issues. And if you have ever gone through a divorce, you know it is one of the most stressful times you can go through. And if we're not careful, we can turn this stressful time into a financial disaster.
In 1998, I went through a painful divorce myself. I felt hurt, ashamed and a failure. On top of that, my then wife had the kids and were living several states away, so I couldn't even see the kids as much as I'd wanted to. So I did what most people do in that situation, I medicated my pain with spending. I spent tons of money on myself to make me feel better, and on my kids to prove to them that I was still thinking about them and that I still loved them.
What to do if this is you
As you read, I didn't do so hot in this category when I was going through my divorce, but there are many things we can do to prevent a huge financial mess during a divorce.
If you have kids that are old enough to understand what is going on, let them know this isn't their fault and that you're still there for them.
If your kids are young, again just be there for them. They just want to see & be with you. The point is, with both older and younger kids, you don't have to spend tons of money to prove that you love them. Play games or watch movies you already have with them at home, instead of going out for entertainment every time you get to visit with them. Also, you don't have to go out to eat every time you get them either, cook something simple at home. Again, it is the time you spend with them not how much money you spend on them.
Another thing you need to do, if you're not already doing it, is get on a budget and stick to it! I know how much people hate the "B" word, but if you're not doing one, you can't believe how much it helps you financially. Think of it this way. If you manage your time better, you have more of it. Well the same thing goes for a budget. It causes your money to go further, perhaps further than you thought it would.
This is a sensitive subject for most people, but paying or receiving child support can either help or bust a budget. If you are ordered by the courts to pay child support, then PAY IT!! Even if you aren't ordered by the courts, you should still pay some child support. Like it or not, you helped make that child, you need to help support them!
If you are to receive child support, that money is meant for supplementing the income you should already have or soon to get, to help care for your child(en). It is not a free ride! So treat it as such. If you are not receiving child support, but should, you need to start getting it! Make an appointment to get one set up today.
If there is a reason why either parents think that the support is too much or not enough because someone has a job change, or something else changed in their lives, then go through the proper channels to get it reviewed and possibly changed. But be careful! By having your income reviewed, you may not get the results you intended.
The best thing I did when I had to pay child support was to have it directly taken out of my paychecks. I never saw the money so I never missed it. On top of that, I had a paper trail that said I paid my support.
Also, it never hurts to do a full audit on your support record or account at least once a year, whether there is something wrong or not. You never know, the audit may uncover something wrong you didn't know about.
I hope this little bit of insight helps you out. I sure do wish someone told me this stuff when I was going through my divorce.
The reason I do this, is to give people hope and to try to inspire others. To make people think about their finances, whether they are young or old, so they can win financially.
If you have any questions for me about my posts or if you need help learning how to live on less than you make and creating a budget, you can call me at (616) 454-2046 or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d be happy to help!
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