Are you a team player?
By Keith Bunn Jr.
June 19, 2011
Imagine this; you’re at a football game featuring your favorite team and their biggest rival. You have awesome seats that cost you a fortune. The two teams go out in the center of the field for the coin toss. Your team wins the toss and decides to be on offence. Both teams go back to the sidelines and the coaches start to strategize about the plays that will be done during the kickoff. The rival team starts out onto the field, and begins to set up for the kickoff. Your team begins to move out onto the field towards the end where they will receive to ball. It’s then you notice something odd. Your team only has 6 players out onto the field. You start to think, the others will be out soon, but no one else runs out. Now you’re thinking, this isn't right, what are they doing?
Now we all know that this will never happen. No team from any kind of sport would send out half their players to play the game. The chances of that team winning the game would be about zero. Well that is exactly what happens in your marriage when you and your spouse are not on the same page when it comes to your money. The chances of you winning financially are almost zero.
Proverbs 31:10–11 says, "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." This can be said the other way too “Who can find a virtuous husband…” Both ways are right. If one of you does the budget, pays and mails out the bills, while the other spouse hands over their paycheck and takes no part in the household budget, but then later on gets mad when something goes wrong or wants to buy something and there is no money, that puts tremendous amounts of stress on the spouse trying to do the right thing. Believe me, I've done that to my wife. I had no idea how much stress I put on her until something went wrong and she just broke down crying. That was when we talked about money, that’s when I got involved and that was wrong on my part.
Now, Julie writes out the budget, we both sit down and go over it. I will ask questions if I have any, if not and I agree to what she has written down and something goes wrong, I have no right to get into her case about it because I agreed to the plan too. We both made the decision to do it. Now if one of us changes the plan after agreeing on it and doesn't talk about the changed plan with the other and something goes wrong, well now we have something to gripe about and we have a right to get in each other’s case. Because it turned an ‘our plan’ into a ‘my plan’, which can cause not only stress, but sometimes resentment as well.
Look, the number one cause of divorce in this country is due to money fights and money problems. If that the number one cause, what do you think will happen if you got that part of your marriage under control? And once you start communicating about that, you’ll start to communicate about other things and that will be the beginning of a more fulfilled marriage. I’m telling you from experience, if you go running out on that financial field as a whole team and not half your players; you’re on your way to winning the game of money and marriage.
“Family is a connection to life... a tie to the past... a road to the future.” – Unknown –
I hope my posts inspire you to look at what you’re doing financially and if needed, make some changes that will cause you to win financially. I also look forward to reading your views on any articles or postings that I may post. For more money news, facts and ideas, follow me on Facebook, or Twitter. Thank you!